Well, it is that time of year again isn’t it...Oh yes it is...Strictly Come Dancing is on!

I Absolutely love Strictly and would dearly love a waltz with that dishy Alijaz. I’ll tickle him with my feather duster any time he likes!

I don’t know how he manages to dance with those skinny dancers, he would be much better off with a woman such as myself, who has something he can hold on to! I did write to the BBC to suggest they ask me to be a contestant for this year’s competition but I never heard back so Royal Mail obviously never delivered my letter. They really have gone downhill since privatisation.

If I was on Strictly, I would of course, have to take my own dresses with me, as they are far more glitzy, glamorous and truly outrageous than anything they come up with themselves!

Talking of glitz and glamour, I have ordered my make-up for panto season. A tanker of foundation, two barrels of mascara, and three dozen more ‘Red Fiesta’ lipsticks. I think that should just about see me through the run.

Oh well, better get going, my tankard of G&T will be getting warm!

Mother Goose