I SEEM to have a habit of accidentally blowing things up so I wasn’t exactly thrilled to be told I would be taking part in a bake-off event last week. 

The event I was dragged into, much to my colleagues’ amusement, was the launch of the Scottish Baker of the Year 2017 at reigning champion, The Kandy Bar in Saltcoats.  

The last time I ‘baked’ something was in second year Home Ec and that nearly caused the apocalypse. 

But the prospect of a free pie from The Kandy Bar was too much to resist. I never pass up on a freebie, especially if it comes from The Kandy Bar.

So ...

The day didn’t exactly get off to a great start. 

I never thought I would say this in my entire life, but I could really have done with a balaclava. The hair net wouldn’t fit round my wild barnet, so my straggly locks were just hanging loose like frayed curtains. Just as well the fruits of our labours weren’t meant for consumption afterwards (well, I still ate mine anyway but I’ll eat anything). At least if I’m ever let loose in somebody’s kitchen again, I’ll know to bring a paper bag with the eyes cut out.

But things soon improved. Thankfully for me – and everyone living within a three-mile radius of the Three Towns – I didn’t actually have to bake anything.

Instead, we were tasked with decorating pre-made pastries – literally the icing on the cake. In other words, we had to do a lot of squeezing through funnels.

First, we were put into two teams. Michelle McManus and Grado were in the red team and STV’s Jennifer Reoch and David Farrell were the poor souls lumped with me on the blue side. 

The Kandy Bar’s main man, Stephen McAllister, demonstrated each task to us with the same ease as a Blue Peter presenter.

But, as we all know from watching Blue Peter, actually recreating their “Here’s one I made earlier” displays for yourself is a completely different bag of flour. 

It was hard enough balancing the right squeeze technique, never mind the added pressure of TV cameras pointing at your struggles, recording a permanent chronicle of your disastrous attempts. All while wearing a hair net.

I did seem to start quite well when it came to icing a cupcake though. Then, just as I finished a near-perfect swirl, the icing kept flowing. And flowing. And flowing. No amount of un-squeezing would make it stop. 

Despite drowned tarts and my efforts, our team won the challenge. Somehow, I think that was down to Jennifer and David though.

All in all, the day was a laugh. And well worth it for a free ‘Kandy Bar World Champion Scotch Pie’.